Someone Left a Shopping Cart in Memory Lane

I'm always mildly entertained when I remember fragments of my childhood that should have been lost over time. Recently, I recalled a moment when I could actually ride in a shopping cart in a grocery store without being on the receiving end of unpleasant stares and unwarranted harassment from store employees. Despite my age, I know that my weight is significantly lower than that of some of the children who ride in those carts. There should be no problem whatsoever, but there are individuals who have nothing better to do than crush the joys and dreams of a Toys R Us kid such as myself. I suppose said people may never have had the privilege of riding in a shopping cart as a child, thus justifying their bewildered state at seeing me, a twenty-four-year-old man, enjoying the hairpin turns and sudden stops that only such a magical vehicle can provide. They can tell my body to exit the vehicle, but my heart will never truly leave it. Alas, the loss of youth can be such a terrible thing, indeed. However, shopping cart tangents aside, a life-changing event was about to take place. Due to the inescapable truth that I would have to attend school the next day, which was tomorrow back then, my mood was not in the best of, well, moods. On top of that, mom had yelled at me yet again for taking a coupon we did not intend to use out of one of the electronic coupon dispensers. How could I help myself? Whenever I pulled a coupon for a thirty-five cent discount off of soy sauce out, a doppelganger mysteriously came forth from the recesses of the machine to take its place. Fascinating! Again, my mood was significantly sullied. Suddenly, as if sent from Heaven above, my downtrodden eyes gazed upward and beheld the most amazing toy I had ever seen. Words could not describe the creature that hung before me, so a description with words will not be attempted here and now. Regardless, it was unjust for such a majestic and anthropomorphically advanced being to be confined within a prison of cardboard, plastic and twist-ties. Take you home? Free you? Play with you? I could not resist his call. I grabbed my mother's arm oh-so-gently and whispered, "Mother, dearest. Despite our differing opinions as to the seizing of coupons, I greatly appreciate you bringing me into this world and am truly grateful for the myriad blessings and positive effects you have provided in my life." She blinked twice, then knelt down so she could meet me eye to eye. Then she replied softly, "Ryan. First, stop talking as if you're older than I am. It's creepy. Second, you must promise me that you will not take any more coupons from the electronic coupon dispensers." I did not even have to mull the deal over. Coupons had nothing on the creature that was staring back at me with pupil-less eyes. I told her so. Mother smiled and took her right hand in mine. Her hand shook mine, thus sealing the agreement. With the other hand, she unhooked my new best friend with grace and ease. My little hands grasped the package firmly, but with the greatest of care. Mother circled around to the cart's handle, wrapped her hands around the bar and began the long and arduous journey to the front cashier. A great deal of time would pass before I could become truly acquainted with my new best friend, but nothing could wipe the smile from my face. Not even the thought of school the next day.